In situations that may lead to an argument to the child – in spite of your best effort – talks back in a manner that is downright rude and highly disrespectful. The parent should create a condusive communication with their kids. At the root of this behavior is most likely an occasion or two when the child got away with this kind of behavior. Parents who consistently discourage back talking or deal with it as outlined above, most likely will not have to deal with disrespectful words too often.
If you do find yourself in the position of having a child that has added disrespectful back talking to his repertoire of communication styles within the family, it is a good idea to announce that, effective immediately, such behavior will no longer be put up with. Reveal a number of consequences that will be meted out in response to back talking. They should increase in seriousness. You may begin with simple losses of some privileges, such as video games for that day, the use of the phone for a day, and anything else that will remind the child that talking back is no longer profitable.
It is crucial for the child to be clear on the consequences and also what constitutes an offense. Of course, once everyone is on the same page, it is up to you to actually follow through on these rules you just laid down. Since the child will most likely want to test your resolve, there are going to be some little battles ahead. Here are three tips for dealing with them.
- Stop the conversation as soon as your child becomes disrespectful. Walk away from your child and do not allow yourself to get drawn into a battle of words. Once a bit of time has elapsed and you both have cooled down, mete out a previously agreed upon consequence.
- Fine your child. This should be done with children who are visual learners. Count out their allowance in quarters and tape each of the quarters to a board. Over the course of the week, remove one quarter for each disrespectful talking back episode. At the end of the week, your child’s allowance is determined by his actions. He may end up with a lot, a little, or nothing at all.
- If a particular phrase or method of communication is out of character for your child, recognize that you have a teaching opportunity. Explain why a certain phrase is disrespectful and why you will not permit him to use it.
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